Parents of children with autism
When we received the autism diagnosis, my husband and I, the psychologist, a social worker, and a representative from a support group for Hispanic families were all there... that day we were told the scores obtained by Juan along with “it is a lifelong condition, therapies are going to help him be independent”... “some children with autism, after reaching certain skills, lose them again”... “the hormonal changes of adolescence can bring other problems” so the outlook was hopeless, and they asked us: “how do you feel about what we are talking about?” “If anything, the support group can help you”...
Almost 3 years have passed from then until now, and although some worries have cleared up on their own, we still have questions/worries that live in what I call “the drawer”; from time to time they gain strength and appear when I least expect them, and then the future is painted with sadness and fear... most of the time I live the experience of entering the drawer without talking about it with anyone, or sometimes with my husband. When we began the journey along the path of Autism Spectrum Disorder, my first question was, “will he be happy?” Juan had stopped smiling and his expression was neutral most of the time... but today he is cheerful, noble, sociable, he is happy! truly happy! Anyone can observe that just by looking at him...
I used to worry, “will he be able to talk someday!?” (The psychologist told me that the protocol would not make him talk and neither would it make the autism go away) and shortly after starting the Nemechek Protocol, the words came... and then he learned to say Papa and I thought well, if he doesn't manage to say mama it doesn't matter, let him call me papa too, and then later he said “mama mami mamita” and he sings, and uses words and sentences in a functional way, and asks you, how are you? And if you ask him, he answers “good”... he expresses his needs “I'm hungry, I'm cold”... we are working on his speech and little by little he is achieving it... “Will he have friends? Will he be able to play with other children?” It made me sad to see him playing in the park alone, as if the other children didn't exist... and one day a girl ran past him and he followed her and laughed out loud, he would get ahead of her or she would pass him, they would change direction and I felt relief... playing with other children was starting... and then came Mariana, Bruno, Diego, Lucy, Noa, his schoolmates, and he started to play, to run after one another, to exchange toys... and now to defend his toys and say “it's mine.” I thought, “if we have another child, will he be able to relate to them?” And upon waking up every morning he looks at the crib and says “baby” and kisses him, hugs him, makes his feet dance, and hides his toys behind the sofa 🤣... “will he be able to learn?” And he knows letters, numbers, colors, shapes, and counts, classifies... some questions have been answering themselves, without a rush, because everything takes time and they are coming out of the drawer... there are other worries that peek through and I let them pass without stopping on them because experience has shown me that Juan has been responding favorably to everything... it is a day-to-day job... it implies effort and some sacrifices but they are done so that, as the Psychologist said on that first day, he can be independent and have a life like any other person... I have always sought to get out of the drawer quickly when I enter... because the drawer can be dark and questions about the future are difficult, we have no control over what will be later and we mothers need to always be in the light... in my case, Re-Do is one of those lights that shines on the box and fills it with colors, positive imagination, and creativity, it is occupying myself with something that takes me out of everyday life and routine... my husband, who although has his own drawer, always tells me “of course he will, look at everything he has achieved, we will get through this, he is doing well!”.. What I call the drawer still exists, the first thing I did when I discovered it was to look for success stories of children with autism, those who overcame the diagnosis, those who move forward and manage to be independent and functional... although many say that “it is for life”, my son today is functional and also independent in what is expected of a child his age... We have a good support network that helps us stay positive... focused on the present, for a better future..
